


The Softer Sides of Insanity

by Better_On_Page



Series: Kailock [3]
Category: BBC Sherlock, Sherlock - Fandom
Genre: Adventure, F/M, Humor, Romance, back story, day to day life
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-01-21
Updated: 2014-02-09
Packaged: 2018-01-09 12:10:14
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 5,800
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1145835
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Better_On_Page/pseuds/Better_On_Page
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>This will contain short glimpses into my established relationship between Kairi and Sherlock from my main story Born in Black and White. There is no plot to these snippets other than to supplement my main story for the benefit of my beloved readers. If you want plot and intrigue, visit my profile and read my main story. Thanks! REQUESTS/PROMPTS WELCOME</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. How do you like your eggs?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kairi teaches Sherlock how to cook

Kairi sat in her front room, staring at the man sitting across from her. His eyes were narrowed and stormy, his face set in a serious and fearless expression. They were at a standstill at this point, not sure where to go.

"So..." Kairi muttered and Sherlock glared back at her, "You can't even make yourself an egg?"

Sherlock snorted derisively, "Why would I make myself an egg when someone is perfectly capable of doing it for me?"

Kairi rolled her eyes, "That perfectly capable someone is yourself, princess. My god, you were spoiled weren't you? I bet your mother loved you to pieces." Sherlock became serious, steepling his fingers as his elbows rested on the arms of the chair. "No wonder you got bored! Everything always being done for you, can't even make yourself an egg." She sounded astounded, "If I couldn't make myself an egg I would have starved as well." She eyed him up and down and he frowned at her.

Sherlock rolled his eyes, "I had more important things to focus on."

Kairi chuckled, "Well, it sure wasn't eggs or girls."

Sherlock turned automatically serious, "What is  _that_  supposed to mean?"

Kairi's eyes widened, "Nothing. Don't worry about it."

Sherlock's gaze tightened on her, flicking over every inch of her body in assessment, "Are you implying that my sexual prowess leaves something to be desired?" He rose an eyebrow at the flush that creeped onto her cheeks, "I don't recall any complaints being leveled during our interactions. Also, you can't necessarily tease me about it when I know more about what you look like and feel like during an orgasm than you, yourself do." He watched Kairi gulp slowly.

She narrowed her eyes, "Yeah? Well," She paused, ultimately flustered, "Shut up, I took your virginity!"

Sherlock shook his head and chuckled, "Pathetic attempt for a comeback."

Kairi glowered and responded meekly, "You're a pathetic comeback." He only rolled his eyes and stood sharply.

"Well, we should start. I have a suspicion that this will be a horribly tedious process." He glanced down at Kairi who was still glaring at him and he sighed and rolled his eyes, "Alright fine, I gather it will be slightly less tedious around you." He said with slight disgust and Kairi smiled wide and she stood, walking over to stand in front of Sherlock with a mischievous grin stretching her features.

"What Sherlock, are you  _scared_?" She teased him.

He looked down at her with a fire in his eyes as he stepped forward and she had the grace to step back and keep a distance between them. He kept pushing forward, slowly, deliberately and she placed her steps carefully, or so she thought. She was staring in his eyes, he was being gracious enough to show her what was going through his mind. He looked impish and smug and whenever Sherlock looked smug it was a cause for worry. She saw his lips twitch to widen his smile and she took a tentative step backwards and to the left. She hit the counter and his smile came out in full force.

"Shit." She grumbled as he lunged at her and pinned her back against the high bar, pressing himself into her and grinning as his hands trapped her shoulders in place.

"It seems you are in quite the position." He smiled to her in a dark way, his eyes taking in her features that looked at him in defiance, "You have a few options here," His fingers trailed up her bare shoulder, he did appreciate that she preferred tank tops and lower necklines, it gave him much more access to the sensitive spots on her neck that he knew would reduce her to a blithering mess, "You can acquiesce to me," He said softly as his finger trailed along her collar-bone and she glared at him through a shudder that rippled through her body and hardened her nipples, "Or you can apologize for saying I was scared."

Kairi shrugged his hand off her collar-bone and she glared at him - all of this was in jest, they did love to challenge each other, "Those options sound the same." She growled.

He cupped her face in his hand a little roughly and smiled, "Well, one you can do with your voice," He leaned in and pressed his mouth to her neck, the spot right below her ear which turned her into mush and then he whispered to her, "The other requires your body's submission to mine."

Kairi shivered and curled her fingers in his shirt as his mouth and tongue played on her skin, she gasped slightly when he bit down and then she shoved him back, both of them breathing deeply. She clicked her tongue at him, "Tut tut tut, Sherlock Holmes. I never would have guessed it from you." She smiled at him knowingly and he glared at her, "Trying to seduce me to escape your task. You  _are_  scared."

He stepped forward threateningly, "I am not."

Kairi grinned and crossed her arms over her chest, "Oh yeah? Then let's do it. Put your money where your mouth is Mr. Holmes. Show me you aren't afraid." She smiled coyly and watched as the gears ticked away in Sherlock's mind.

He approached her again, standing in front of her and glaring down at her. They stood there for a moment, both facing each other, both challenging each other with dark looks and their stiff body language. Kairi was trying not to grin, a pernicious glint in her eye.

"I do not fear anything Kairi," He jabbed, lying through his teeth. The small blonde woman before him desperately scared him.

Her smiled brightened now, all previous impish features dissipated, "Good!" She reached out and grabbed his hand and pulled him around the counter and into her kitchen, "First I'll teach you how to scramble an egg. You can't botch it up really. Then maybe I can show you how to bake something. What's your favorite food?"

He looked at her, curiously, maybe even sheepishly, "I don't know."

Kairi rolled her eyes, "How do you not have a favorite food? Something that will always make your mouth water! Something you desperately crave!" She was animated and excited. He gave her a lecherous look and she hissed at him, "Stop it you."

He grinned at her reaction, the blush rising in her cheeks and her pupils dilating in response to him. Kairi and he had only just begun their sexual relationship and it was already rather successful. Sherlock and Kairi had a very unique attraction to one another. It was consuming and could be very distracting. As he watched her gather necessary implements for their task, he appreciated the way her hair fell across her shoulders or how her nose crinkled when she was deep in thought. Small features, small tells that he began to equate to her behaviors that led to a certain amount of prediction and understanding. He would not pretend to be an expert in Kairi, but he was determined to become one. Experimenting with her had been one of the most adventurous undertakings he'd ever devoted himself to. Learning her, studying her in a sexual and emotional level was fascinating and enjoyable for the most part. There were always frustrations and conflicts, but in the end, Kairi became something that he desperately wanted to understand. He wanted to know exactly how to touch her body to make her wither; he wanted to find the words to say to elicit a laugh; and he wanted, very badly, to find the ways to make her feel safe. She was important like John and Molly and Mrs. Hudson and Lestrade. She was part of him now in ways no one else would be. She wasn't more important than the others, at least not John, but the companionship they shared was simply put, different. He was fascinated and almost sorry to admit, involved.

"Come on," Kairi muttered, breaking him out of his thought process, "Don't be shy now. Time to test your true abilities Sherlock."

He sided up to her after they both washed their hands and he began rolling his sleeves up with a distasteful look on his features. He enjoyed his time with Kairi very much, but she always seemed to laugh at him playing at being disinterested or bored. He enjoyed hearing her laugh. "My abilities, as always, will impress you." He added monotonously.

Kairi chuckled at that, "Ah, there's that modesty I was missing." She winked at him and grabbed the pans, placing them on the counter, one in front of Sherlock and one in front of herself, glancing up at him as he looked slightly uncomfortable. "Now, I learned this recipe from YouTube, watching Gordon Ramsay."

"Who is Gordon Ramsay?" Sherlock looked at her as she set out three eggs for each of them, a half-inch of sliced butter, salt, pepper, some stringy green looking things which had the potent smell of some sort of onion, and a container of something called creme fraiche.

She sighed, "You'd probably like him. He's a very interesting person, very much like you, he's the best at what he does - or at least claims to be" Sherlock scowled at her for that, "He's on TV though, he holds contests, inspects kitchens, and the like trying to find good chefs and give them opportunities of a lifetime."

Sherlock lifted an eyebrow, "That doesn't sound anything like me." He replied with distaste.

Kairi chuckled, "Well shut your face and let me finish then," She smiled up at him and he looked slightly amused, "He's also completely scathing and rude and likes to belittle people - mostly for television, otherwise he's a pretty nice person."

Sherlock frowned, "So you think I'm scathing and belittling?"

Kairi looked at him curiously, "Well you can be, you aren't hurt by that are you?"

Sherlock shook his head, "I know many people dislike me."

Kairi chuckled, "That's a gentle way of phrasing it." She glanced at him again and he looked thoughtful, "I like you."

Sherlock glanced up again and met her eyes, "I like me too."

Kairi shook her head and laughed, seeing his mouth hitch in a tiny chuckle, "Of course you do. Now listen!" She poked at him and he shied away from her, "The thing about cooking is that its very much like an experiment or, better yet, a chemical reaction!"

"Chemical or physical change?" Sherlock looked at her with curiosity.

"Uhm, mostly physical I think, but I guess, maybe in some recipes there could be a chemical reaction happening. Maybe like making caramel." She looked serious as she placed a finger to her lips to think, "I'm not sure, I'm not a chemist completely nor a professional cook, so at this point I'll just say physical. You take different ingredients, different molecules if you will, put them together and expose them to heat or cold or mixing or whatever to create something wholly new." She looked up at him smiling and he was amused by her, "I think you'd enjoy cooking once you get the hang of it. Its like science but you can eat it!"

Sherlock chuckled softly at that, "Well John would probably be more receptive to my cooking experiments as opposed to my scientific ones."

Kairi smiled and slid three eggs in front of him, "Okay, first things first, break the eggs." She took an egg in her hand and Sherlock watched her closely as she grasped the egg in her fingers in a gentle grip and tapped it on the side of her pan. The side of the egg cracked and he watched her fingers deftly separate the shell as the insides emptied out into the pan. She looked up at him expectantly and so he grasped an egg and hit it against the side of the pan with what he came to realize as too much force. The egg practically split in half, gushing its insides all over his hands and the side of the pan.

"Damn." He growled and Kairi smiled as she swooped in with a paper towel and wiped up his failure, pushing him towards the sink to wash his hands again. Frustrated, he grabbed another egg and Kairi pulled an extra one out of the carton for him.

"Don't fret, it's better to be too gentle than too strong with an egg." She looked at him and his mouth was a thin line and his jaw clenched.

"I'm not fretting." He spat distastefully.

Kairi smiled, "Alright, tap it gently against the side of the pan, just enough to crack it." She glanced at him and he looked like he wanted to say something cruel, "You know it takes some practice. You are very adept and your coordination, as you so very much like to tell us all, is impeccable, but this is all still new." He gave her a sideways glance and nodded and he followed her instructions and tapped the egg gently on the side of the pan until it cracked. She then showed him with her second egg how to pry it open along the fault line and he mimicked her actions. They finished cracking the eggs and she handed him a rubberized spatula. He stared at it for a moment, inspecting the wooden handle and what he believed was a silicone tip, bright orange and flexible.

"Now its best to beat the eggs and not whisk them," She added and placed her pan over medium-high heat and Sherlock followed her lead, watching her movements and the muscles in her arms and how her fingers manipulated the tools in her grasp. "Start mixing it up and let's add the butter." She grabbed a thin slice of butter and he followed her actions, watching as she unravelled the slice of yellow, solidified fat. She plopped her slice into her plan and Sherlock followed and began mixing.

He was still trying to adjust his speed and force as he turned the spatula in the pan, glancing over to see Kairi folding the eggs in on each other, whipping them quickly and then slowing her motions to scrape the sides of the pan to rid it of egg residue. He attempted this and some spilled over the side, he cursed and the pan hissed. "Too much force." He growled and Kairi swooped in again, grabbing his pan and wiping it down before it could burn.

She went back to mixing and showed Sherlock her pan and pointed to his, "See how the yellow and the clear are starting to blend in together and the butter is melting? That will help get the eggs fluffy."

"What about the rest?" He gestured to the other ingredients.

"We'll add them closer to the end of the process, otherwise eggs will get runny and no one likes runny eggs." She wrinkled her nose in distaste and Sherlock couldn't help but grin, "So see how its starting to get clumpy? Now its time to remove it from the heat for a moment."

"Isn't eating uncooked eggs unhealthy?" Sherlock added snidely.

Kairi chuckled at him, "Yes, that's why I said  _a moment_." She kept mixing and Sherlock continued as well, "The heat of the pan will help the eggs finish cooking as well." She nodded and moved back over the heat, "For scrambled eggs its important to always keep mixing, otherwise, things will go stagnant and they will burn or get overcooked."

Sherlock nodded, "I'm guessing no one likes overcooked eggs either."

Kairi smiled at him, "Some people do, but only those with unrefined palates." She winked and he chuckled as they continued to mix. "Okay, remove from the heat once again and now we can add a half tablespoon of the creme fraiche." She reached out and grabbed a small plastic spoon that was perfectly rounded and labeled. He watched her deftly scoop some out, flatten the rounded top of creme fraiche against the side of the container and then plop it into her eggs. She handed the spoon to Sherlock who repeated her motions with crisp adherence and then followed her lead as she mixed it all together. He watched as the liquified eggs soon began to heat and clump together with the melted butter and creme fraiche. He looked at Kairi who was smiling as she reached out for the salt and pepper, shaking a timid amount onto it as she removed the eggs from the burner and began chopping at the long green things. "I like green onions in my eggs, it adds a little kick."

Sherlock watched her chop and he added some salt and pepper to his mixture, not quite sure of the arbitrary amount Kairi had put in so he just sort of shrugged and sprinkled it around as he continued to mix and turned the burner off, removing his pan from the heat. She scooped up some of the green onions and poured some in his pan as he mixed, "What if I don't like kick?"

Kairi smiled, "You ate all of my cajun pasta that one night. I'm pretty sure you like kick." She turned back to her pan and continued to mix, scraping the sides and making sure the heat was evenly spreading. "Plus you like me." She glanced up at him and saw him grin, "I'm not exactly a bland person." He scoffed and she nudged him playfully, "Also you're Sherlock Holmes, when do you ever condone boring things?"

He chuckled at her and tilted his pan as he mixed, "Is it finished yet?"

Kairi smiled and nodded, "Yes, just about, I like to add cheese and some turkey in mine. Would you like some?" Sherlock nodded as Kairi sprinkled in some cheese and chopped up turkey and he continued to mix. She tapped the pan gently, assessing its heat no doubt, and placed it back on the stove and went to her pantry. Sherlock watched her and he followed suit, placing his pan next to hers.

"What now?" He asked as she dug in the cupboard.

"Toast!" She shouted and it echoed out of the cupboard. She stood straight, leaning out from behind the doors, "Do you like sourdough?"

He rose an eyebrow, "I have no preference."

Kairi sighed dramatically, "God you're boring. How did I end up with a man who hates food?" She chuckled to herself, "I'm destined to get fat and you'll be thin as a rail for the rest of your life."

He rose an eyebrow at that and cleared his throat as she sliced the bread and jammed it in her toaster oven with butter on top, "Do you intend to be around that long?"

Kairi gave him a curious look, not sure how to answer. He was just looking at her, deliberately stoic and unemotional as he did when he was doing something he felt uncomfortable with. She brought out plates and placed them on the counter, "I don't know." She glanced at him and he remained stony, "I guess if you'd have me." She shrugged.

They sort of stared at each other, without words, as their minds raced. They had only been engaging in a romantic sort of relationship for a few weeks now. It was more so that their previous friendship just had the added benefit of sex and they weren't afraid to admit that they cared for one another aloud. The idea of it evolving into something long term was neither comfortable nor distasteful.

The toaster oven dinged and it brought them out of their awkward silence and Kairi moved to pull out the toast, placing it on their plates. She walked back over to Sherlock who was still analyzing her and she handed him his plate and they scooped out their eggs, leaving the pans to soak in the sink. Sherlock grabbed Kairi's plate and carried it over to the table. Kairi cleared up the counters, placing all ingredients back into their place in the kitchen and she poured out their coffee.

She carried it to the table and took a chance to stare at Sherlock Holmes. He was in his rumpled shirt from the night before and a pair of her sweatpants. It was an odd combination that had a sort of ridiculous shabby chic to it. His hair was a complete mess, sticking up just about everywhere in wild curls and she could see the faintest stubble starting to form on his face. She smiled at him, her stomach rumbling slightly for something, either eggs or Sherlock she wasn't quite sure. As she sat down, Sherlock pulled his coffee mug to him, nodding his thanks to Kairi for adding his preferred two sugars.

"So, not so bad?" She smiled and took a bite, relishing in the delicious scrambled eggs. Sherlock glanced at her and then glanced at the food and then tucked in, taking a small bite. She saw his eyes widen, ever so slightly as he scooped up a bigger bite and placed it in his mouth. He was oddly delicate in his eating habits and she wondered if it were from years of etiquette courses he was forced into as a child.

"No its quite good." He glanced up at her while she ate and she smiled at him, "It's within my limited knowledge to understand thanks are in order."

Kairi lifted an eyebrow, "You're Welcome?" She chuckled, "It was mostly self-serving though."

Sherlock looked at her as he sipped his coffee, "How so?"

She gave him an impish grin around her fork and finished chewing before speaking, "Well now if you piss me off you can fix me breakfast in bed as an apology."

He took another bite, "There are an abundance of things I'd rather be doing in bed with you, but if I must." He rolled his eyes, "Then is this how you prefer your eggs in the morning?"

She smiled at him wryly, "Well its a start, but no, I prefer my eggs Benedict."

* * *

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is a thanks to all my readers who have kept up with me and Kairi and Sherlock since the beginning. Its too much fun writing my story so all of these extras will be coming here. Thanks again for reading!! If you have anything you'd like to see let me know!


	2. The Book

Sherlock sat in his chair, one leg up on an arm rest as he leaned back, rolling a stolen cigarette between his fingers. He did not smoke without Kairi as he felt the nicotine did less to stimulate him when she was not around. The affect she continued to have on him while in her presence was one that he studied meticulously when he had time.

The emotions that she elicited were ones that put a smile on his face without him consciously doing so. It was an annoying sort of habit to feel his lips stretch as if by their own volition when his thoughts would stray to her. It was an amusing thing to be doing whatever work he was and be able to think of her tangentially, without becoming distracted. She was so cemented in his mind, as if ever present, that she did not derail his thinking - not often at least, because he tried to keep his more lecherous thoughts locked away. Those were for him and him alone to cherish and no one need be privy to exactly how he reacted to contemplating the curve of her breasts or the bend of her spine as she rolled her hips into his.

There it was again, that damned smile.

He fixed his face in a glare at the cigarette in his hands, bothered by John and Molly's persistent diatribe about Christmas presents. Kairi herself had stated that she was not one for ridiculous displays of affection and that he would have the authority to decide when and how he would admit his affection for her. In all honesty, he was remiss to admit that he would prefer to hide away the entire holiday, stay in bed, and trace along every single line of her form. He was on his way to learning her body perfectly. He could close his eyes and predict almost exact angles to how her buttocks met her back or the depression of her hip bones when lying supine on the bed. It was an amazing thing to be so ardently involved and devoted to another human. He understood loyalty and friendship now, mostly, thanks to John and the other few, but this new notion, this intoxication he felt while near her was something that piqued his desire to be all consuming. Sherlock rarely did anything in half measures.

He wondered how her reaction would be to such an idea and was tempted to ask John, but he refrained. Kairi would have a different reaction from John and Molly because they were suited for one another. A woman suited for Sherlock Holmes would be vastly different in her opinions of the world and what she desired. At least that's what Kairi had been proving as of late.

He sat back in his chair, placing the unlit cigarette between his teeth and testing the filter with the tip of his tongue. He brought out some papers and stared at the blank page deciding to distract himself from frustration by putting pencil to paper. As opposed to the violin which would help him think, drawing was a much different use of his talents. It was distracting in the best way, lending to the creator in him, allowing him to focus his efforts on lines and angles and shading, using his strengths in observation to lend a realistic light to his design. It wasn't long before he realized the familiar curves gracing his paper, the shaded eyes staring back at him in a familiar lusty glance, the lips, just barely parted that seemed to whisper something to his soul. He closed his eyes for a moment and took a deep breath, putting the pieces together to form an amusing whole.

He had not been one to pay homage to the beauty of the word around him. He found very few things simply aesthetically pleasing. Everything in his life had function and purpose and distracting himself by such a vapid form of appreciation was not something he bothered with. Women that made John lose his breath seemed formless and vague in Sherlock's eyes. Molly he came to admit was a woman with relatively pleasing features, though he took no great pleasure from them. He appreciated her first for her use in his life and manipulated it viciously for some time. He came to appreciate her differently when he realized her utility was not just one of convenience, but one that he enjoyed implementing because of what lay behind the role of pathologist. She could be funny and cute, but because of her affection for him, and his downright cold nature, he would only utilize that weakness in her when he greatly needed the benefit. It was something he wished he could regret, but he didn't. In the end, it drove her into the arms of John Watson and it was something he was surprisingly thankful for.

Then came along Kairi. He was annoyed by her at first, greatly displeased with the way she seemed to shine in his vision. He could glance at other females and they'd fade into the static of the world around him. He would focus on individual aspects, break them down piece by piece until dissected into useful bits of information, but with her, he found himself unable to take in anything but the whole picture. He understood constructs of beauty were dependent on childhood rearing and societal pressures, but since he had never much concerned himself with beauty before, he had a hard time understanding why she was so vibrant in such a pallid world.

Compared to The Woman, Kairi might seem unsophisticated and dull to others, but to Sherlock she was utterly captivating. The beauty of The Woman was something that Sherlock appreciated because of her vivacity and her cunning. She was a snake, with scales and scales that undulated in your presence, hypnotizing you into attention and appreciation. The Woman used that to her advantage and it was a fact that made Sherlock slightly disgusted with her. In the end, her sentiment was more so the attraction to a man who could best her. The Woman was not so inclined to such feeble emotions, but competition was a beautiful thing.

As for Kairi, her beauty was something that gripped Sherlock. The curves of her face made him feel calm and at home. Her smile was disarming in the worst way and many times, in the beginning of their interaction he pointedly refused to look at her for fear that she'd grace him with the illumination of her joy. When he would gaze at her, she seemed to be exposing herself in ways that he could not fully understand, but wanted to. She wouldn't be hesitant to tell him how she was feeling and it always caught Sherlock off guard. For the most part, she was very adept at applying emotional logic to situations and interpreting reactions of others, even in their smallest interactions.

Kairi represented a beauty to him that he could not put into words. Physically, touching her was a rush, an explosion of endorphins and oxytocin that had him weak in the knees. He was surprised but just how much control she had over his desire and yet she never used it to her advantage. They would play and tease and battle one another, but never, never would Kairi put him in a compromised position, physically or emotionally.

He looked back at the drawings and sighed. He regretted that he was never vocal about how pleasing she was to look at - most people were adamant about being physically attractive and hearing so constantly. What a bore. Kairi would smile at him because she wanted to, she would wear clothes that made her feel beautiful and sexy and sometimes they were dresses and sometimes they were shirts and socks. He enjoyed that about her, how she seemed to light the room up with her smile, her body only lending to her beauty, not encompassing it. There was so much more to her than just curves and lines and softness.

Kairi was someone Sherlock endeavored to be around. He found that he desired to hear her opinion on matters, knowing that it would provide him an interesting perspective that he might not be able to provide. He had always believed he was a well rounded and clear thinker until he met John and then Kairi. John was closer to Sherlock on the spectrum of thinking and so getting Kairi's opinion served to supply him with more knowledge which was always beneficial.

She was inspiring and different, yet they had much in common. They were both determined and stubborn yet yearning to know more about the world and trying to catalogue it into making sense. They both seemed to have deep grasp of loyalty, though they tried to hide behind disarming behavior, they also realized the importance of speaking their minds, offense be damned on some days. He appreciated Kairi's curiosity and though it focused on things he did not particularly care about, he found it refreshing in a world where so many people accepted the face value of things.

He stared at the drawing again, adding shading to the curve of Kairi's spine on the page and smiled. Perhaps if he were not able to express her beauty to him in words, he would be able to show her what she looked like in his mind. Her shy glances and blushes when he would touch her in awe were something that indicated a great level of insecurity and he had heard her before, he had listened to her dismiss the words of others. In this way, she could not rebuff him. In his interpretation there was solid proof of the beauty he saw in her.

She was significant to him in many ways. He reveled in the sexual experiences they shared, enlightening parts of his brain and nervous system he thought long dead. She brought out a heat in him, like a dormant volcano with shifting plates beneath him, exposing a pool of liquid fire that coursed through his veins and erupted through his fingertips on her skin. These thoughts were cogent in his mind, swirling around each other and tantalizing him, he felt a pang in his chest and realized that he missed her with ferocity.

He chuckled at himself, no longer disgusted by his obvious need of her. He would have spat in someone's face a year ago if they implied that he would be in a relationship with a woman he...

The word was still so difficult to comprehend. When he thought about love, he thought about the rest of the world which was a painful reminder of how normal they were. While growing up he believed sentiment to be something that was a waste of time and energy, faux devotion to each other was something that almost annoyed him to no end. Not to mention how displeasing it was to observe their public displays of affection.

He glanced at his bookshelf for a moment, remembering a passage from a poem he read ages ago. He did not invest much in poetry, though he was always amused by hidden meanings and creative syntax. He grabbed a book and flipped through it, finding exactly what he was looking for to confirm his understanding of love. If being enamored and stupid was what love was, then he would not taint the feelings he had for Kairi with it. The word, so perverse in its common meaning would do nothing but shame him if he related it to her. She was more than that to him and it was obviously something he didn't understand. He sat again and paged through the book, rereading poems and essays long forgotten and deemed unimportant. So many seemed paltry in his affection for Kairi, but some of them implied a greater meaning that struck him to the core.

What he was so incapable of expressing was vivid within the words of long dead poets and strings of twenty six letters. He thought it idiotic and plain, but something tugged at him to allow himself to be relatable. He glanced at his drawings, words expressed in shades and lines instead of text and cadence and back at the book, a literary explanation of what he put into his artistic rendition of her in pieces.

There was probably nothing he would ever be able to use to describe his relation to Kairi as a whole, but using these tools, art and literature, to suggest a truth behind his broken bits of pieces of fragmented emotion would be a start.

It would be a Merry Christmas indeed.

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you all for sticking around with my story!!! This will be a collection of one shots to supplement my main story Born in Black and White. If you haven't read it, I urge you to do so because there is plot and intrigue and sexy times. These will mostly be short snippets to add to my character's relationship as a thank you to my readers. Much love!!


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